2013 offered an abundance of things for us shake our head at, empty our stomachs on, stare in disbelief, and frankly make us want to conceal that Albuquerque is our home. But it is our home, and despite the following list, it is up to us to make this place better. But as you look at the following, it will take effort and unity....we added a little "Eye" humor to make what frankly is truly quite disgraceful a little easier to handle. Kinda like what those Deming cops like to do, hold on here it comes:
-Lieutenant Tim Lopez goes 10-40 and gets in fight with his own officers when they refuse to clean his own gun. Lopez didn't seem to find it funny that the nerf gun provided to him in the rubber room didn't need cleaning.
-Senior IRO investigator Trey Flynt and his pirated sports shirts and “booty” website gets fired and redefines what it means to be a loser. He know enjoys Burr-eat-ohs with his buddy TJ.
-City lawyer Kathryn Levy is caught taking pictures of speakers at the POC and Schultz's smirking gets caught on camera. Little did they know they'd be modeling for the monsters in the next Mercer Mayer book.
-Ray Schultz slips up and reveal APD's unwritten but rampant “nature at play” SOP and leads by example for once. Except let's call it what it is: GROSS!
-Perry fires Schultz hours after a huge verdict against Schultz and APD. Nevermind the cops you've fired, been sued by, department you've ruined, economy you've depressed, joke you've become, the truth is Schultz is trying "nature at play" with Rob and Rob aint playin!
-Berry’s policies encourage crime rate to turn around and start climbing in virtually every category except theft of frozen burr-eat-ohs.
-Ellis family: $10,300,000, APD under Ray Schultz: $0 and all Berry got was a red thong.
-12 SE units are off/sick out of 19 units listed to work on a quiet day in December leaving 6 for all of day of shift. But no worries because Berry and Banks say there's no calls for service anyway.
-An entire class of officers file suit against the city for age discrimination. But that's ok because like every other outside entity that says Banks/Schultz are unlawful in conduct, EEOC is wrong too.
-APD Brass handling of Mary Han’s suspicious death gets even more repugnant: faced with allegations of taking pictures and stolen property, APD “loses” city issued cell phones to key personnel including: Allen Banks, Paul Feist, Rob Perry, TJ Wilham, Marc Adams, Beth Paiz, and Darren White. In response to harsh judicial criticism, APD's response is, "oh we didn't know you meant those phones."
-APD SWAT loses federal certification. But that's ok because Berry says crime is down.
-Judge Murdoch rape case is dismissed for gross errors by APD detective Sandy. No Keith, you can't do snitches that way.
-Exploding city budget; APD’s budget unjustifiable given the workforce reduction of almost 30%. But that's ok because crime is down.
-DOJ. Like the little girl from Poltergeist, "They're here..."
-RTCC drone gets dumped in a spontaneous case of the Harlem Shuffle but West Mesa style.
-Lessons lost in the Christopher Chase incident: Kill Zone is the area you don't drive into.
-Levi Chavez, and the suicides continue. But that's ok, because APD is so desperate for cops he'll be back in blue in no time.
-Chickens coming home to roost: Russell Perea, Zane Reeves, APOA 2008 contract….
-So bad it's worth a second mention: Red Thong! No RJ, we didn't say "Red Dawn"
-Vincent Yermal and Rob Perry: acts of labor intimidation and examples of how the beatings will continue until morale improves.
-AFD rank and file take to the streets and protest Berry/Perry’s failures. However when confronted by a old WMA that's 39, 18, and very 10-40....they run and call APD!
-Paul Heh steps up and makes noble mayoral effort; calls “bullshit” on Berry’s lies.
-APOA/City Tentative Agreement: Officers to get 1 penny raise for each month the parties have been in “negotiations.”
-Personnel floodgate remains open, pool dwindling, fewer officers on APD's streets than in the late 1980s. But that's ok because crime is down.
- From the producers of "Nailin Palin" comes "APD Academy: The Adventures of Joe Wolf"
-CAO Perry gives self $33,000 raise but then blows it on scotch and 23rs.
-Interim, Temporary, Professional Lifetime Victim Chief Allen Banks caught lying again. But that's ok because crime is down.
-Off duty sergeant Adam Casaus runs a red light and broadsides a private citizen resulting in traumatic injuries to the driver and the tragic death of the passenger. Once again we are left with, what did Schultz know and when did he know it.
-Former Violent Crimes detective, and forever insider, Sgt. Darcy McDermitt violates Firearm Safety Rule #2: Keep you finger off the trigger. The result? She shoots one of her own officers in the leg.
-Off duty sergeant Adam Casaus runs a red light and broadsides a private citizen resulting in traumatic injuries to the driver and the tragic death of the passenger. Once again we are left with, what did Schultz know and when did he know it.
-Former Violent Crimes detective, and forever insider, Sgt. Darcy McDermitt violates Firearm Safety Rule #2: Keep you finger off the trigger. The result? She shoots one of her own officers in the leg.
and last but not least...
-NM state Attorney General Gary King unloads on APD and city brass by confirming they contaminated and interfered with the Mary Han crime scene, perpetrated outrageous conduct, falsified information, and were generally inexplicable in their actions. But that's ok because city attorney David Tourek says the AG report is frivolous while sitting in for Will Farrell on the set of "Elf 2: I'm a Jingle for Your Bell."
Thanks for playing this year folks. It's been painful and frustrating so we're gonna kick back a few days and drink some Ripple, play with table top saws, and see how many firecrackers we have to set off before the SWAT team shows up. Oh, wait, we forgot, there isn't one anymore because there's no more cops. Nevermind, we'll have some more Ripple. Have a safe New Years, and hold on 2014 is gonna be wild.
P.S. 2013 Poster of the Year Award goes to...........none other than the Tremendous Regulator. Meet us up at the Barelas Coffee House TR, we'll buy you a real cup of joe!
---The Eye
P.S. Thanks to the poster below for catching two major oversights.
P.S. Thanks to the poster below for catching two major oversights.